I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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