What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Randomize
