like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Man, jail baloney is awful.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Randomize
