Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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