Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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