Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
