Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
