Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
