who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
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