my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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