Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I love having hate sex.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
