Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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