Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
