Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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