if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He shit in the fireplace
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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