Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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