Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Sext me about skeletons
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
