Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
50% drunk capacity currently
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
where are my eyebrows?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
