Just fell off a train. Bad.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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