but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize
