why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
