I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
