Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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