Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Randomize
