just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
His nipple licking is glorious
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