I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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