she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
