the new term for farting is butt boxing.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
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