your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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