he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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