He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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