hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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