What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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