its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Your cock deserves a montage
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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