Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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