i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize
