he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
We had to coat check the pizza.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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