You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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