I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
