sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
