Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
