Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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