you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
