I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
