There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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