I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
