I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Randomize
