benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
