And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
