you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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